Pillow Problems.

The Situation : my good friend has some neck issues.

My Solution (in the formation of a text) :

Me : You should get your mum to buy you the perfect pillow ( not all fluff; with a little firmness, but still gentle as a baby's bottom - as a plus, the imagery might cause you to have some interesting, if not disturbing, dreams ;) )

Anonymous Friend : Lol that sounds like a great pillow.

Great description by the way.

Inspiring.

Me : They come highly recommended: just look for the "Baby's Bottom Barge: the pillow that leaves you feeling and smelling just like a babe in the throes of birth"

Anonymous Friend : That's kind of disgusting. Smelling like a birthing baby...

Something I'd never want to imagine. But I do need a new pillow... so I guess that's what I'm gonna get. 

What was that again? Baby what..? :P

Me : LMAO "Baby's Bottom Barge" - but I hear that they have a variety of pillows. One featured example is the "Carefully Concocted Crap Pillow" ( manure is pretty smooth when it's contained in its liquid state, but you have to have some pretty strong perfume to combat the stench ), the "Hay Bale Bale of Hay Pillow" which is more for those coarse country folks ( I know a few that go to W.O. that would appreciate this pillow ;) ), and finally the "Puppy Pillow" which is made of fluffy new-born puppies ( about 4 of them fit inside the casing ); it has the most adorable little yellow puddles surrounding the pillow in the morning.

Anonymous Friend : Hahahahaaaaa omg I want the puppy pillow! I'll sleep on plastic so it doesn't get too messy. If I can't find these pillows in store, would you mind hand-making one for me? It would be extra special.. I'd pay big bucks.

Me : LOL well.. I don't know - I'd have to think about it. These pillows are made in China and, so, are not TECHNICALLY legal in Canada.. But let me think about it during class.. I might be willing to suffer incarceration to earn a lotta dough. I might decide to do it just for you, because you're such a good pal... I'll let you know asap so you can order them sooner, if you have to.

Anonymous Friend : Thank you so much for taking it into consideration. That's very nice of you to care about the health of my neck :) but remember, great friends come with puppy pillows ;)

 

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So.. I've made up my mind. If you ever want one of the pillows mentioned above, contact me ! These custom, unusual pillows have a big price tag so bring your checkbook !

Note: **No puppies (or babies) were harmed in the making of these pillows!**